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--- MARRIAGE QUOTES ---
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"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
"Love and lust are separated only by commitment."
Dan Riesenberger
"The most dangerous predator known to man - women."
Cameron Koo
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."
Saki Munro
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
George Burns
"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."
Steve Landesberg
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature."
Helen Keller
"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
Spike Milligan
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
Woody Allen
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
"My wife dresses to kill, unfortunately she also cooks the same way."
Henny Youngman
"A man in love is incomplete, until he is married. Then he is finished."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband."
Michael de Montaigne
"Marriage is a feast where grace is sometimes better than the dinner."
Charles Caleb Colton
"Marriage.....the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world."
Malcolm Brenan
"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."
Helen Rowland
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
Dolly Parton
"A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't."
Rhonda Hansome
"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
Joey Adams
"If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought."
Dennis Roch
"The meaning of life is not happens to people - it's what happens between people."
Martha Beck
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on with everything you got."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
"A married man should forget his mistakes, no use two people remembering the same thing."
Duane Dewel
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
Brendan Francis
"Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should be happier than others."
Oscar Wilde
"When all is said and done, the weather and love are two elements about which one can never be sure."
Alice Hoffman
"Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks.
It looks easy, until you try it."
Helen Rowland
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become
a philosopher."
Socrates
"Marriage. A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman."
Herbert Spencer
"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman could have. The older she gets, the more interested he
is in her."
Agatha Christie
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never
forgets them."
Ogden Nash
"A successful man is one who makes more money that a wife can spend, a successful woman is
one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner
"May you live a thousand years, and I, one day less, so that I might never know the world without
the pleasure of your company."
Hungarian Wedding Toast
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman
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